9 signs youre successful even if it doesnt feel like it

9 signs youre successful even if it doesnt feel like it9 signs youre successful even if it doesnt feel like itIf youre ambitious, youre bound to feel like a failure from time to time. Lofty goals lead to inevitable moments when you arent yet living up to your expectations.We live in a world that reinforces this feeling. Though most people wont admit it- other than the guy with the He who dies with the most toys winsbumper sticker- in the back of our minds, we equate materie possessions with success.Its a shame we fall prey to materialistic thinking because we certainly know better. A study by Strayer University found that 90% of Americansbelievehappiness is a bigger indicator of success than power, possessions, or prestige. Digging a little deeper, 67% defined success as good relationships with friends and family, and 60% said it is loving what you do for a living. Only 20% stated that monetary wealth determines success.But saying and doing are two very different things.When it comes to success, our eyes often lead us astray. Its hard not to feel like the most successful people are those with the biggest houses, the most expensive cars, and the most influential friends. Regardless of what you achieve, theres always someone with more, and this can make you feel like youre losing. The problem isnt your lack of toys its believing that toys indicate true success.Real success is about who you are and how far youve come. If you ever worry that youre not as successful as you should be, you may be evaluating yourself against the wrong criteria. Sometimes you just need a reminder as to what youve really accomplished in life. The success indicators that follow will help you do just that.Youre no longer the center of the universeWe all know successful people who act like theyre the center of the universe. Its their world and the rest of us just live in itright? Thats not success. True success requires the ability to feel empathy- to realize that other peoples feelings and dreams are just as important as ours, and we cannot succeed without them.You stay positiveHope and optimism are essential components of a happy life. If you dwell on the things that go wrong, you become bitter and resentful. When that happens, you fail- no matter what you may have achieved. Real success means always seeing the bright side and believing you have the power to make even the worst situations better.You know that failure isnt foreverYouve learned that the only people who never fail are those who dont try. When you fail, you dont automatically assume thatyourea failure. Instead, you embrace each failure as an opportunity to learn something- and then you move on. If you still struggle with this at times, know that youll never experience true success until you learn to embrace failure. Your mistakes pave the way for your success by revealing when youre on the wrong path. The biggest breakthroughs typically come when youre feeling the most frustrated and the most stuck. Its this frustration that forces you to think differently, to look outside the box and see the solution youve been missing.You keep things in perspectiveSometimes bad things happen. Its part of life. For most of us, however, our very worst day would seem like a vacation to somebody who has real problems- like not having enough to eat, or trying to survive a civil war. Locking your keys in the car- or even getting passed over for a promotion- arent that bad once you learn to develop perspective. If youve mastered the ability to keep your problems in perspective, mark it down as a huge success.You ask for help when you need itRefusing to ask for help, no matter how much youre struggling, is a sign of emotional immaturity. Asking for help means that you no longer feel like you have something to prove by being perfect. It shows you arent afraid of people discovering your weaknesses and you understand no one succeeds alone.You realize that life isnt a zero-sum gameIts not a see-saw, either. Just because somebody else achieves a big success, that doesnt mean you suffer a loss in equal proportion. You just didnt win that particular time. One sure sign of success is the ability to celebrate others achievements with sincere enthusiasm.You can tell the difference between drama and excitementRemember the days when stable relationships were boring, and you quickly got tired of anyone who treated you as they should? If that kind of drama is a thing of the past, congratulations. If you prefer stability and depth to drama, youre succeeding.You no longer care what other people thinkYou only worry about what other people think when you still feel like you have something to prove. Conversely, you know youve made it when you dont worry about that anymore- when youre true to yourself and your principles, and satisfied with your life. You know youve made it when you understand that other peoples opinions are just that- opinions. They have no effect on reality. They dont change who or what you are.You accept what you cant change and change what you canTheres a difference between pessimism and practicality. If theres a hurricane headed your way, theres nothing you can do to stop it. But once you accept that the hurricane is coming, you can start working to mitigate its effects. If your company downsizes and you get laid off, every moment you spend in denial just delays whatever is waiting over the horizon. Youre able to move on only when you start exploring your options and making plans to change what you can. Taking responsibility for changing the things you dont like about your life is one of the biggest indicators of success.Bringing It All TogetherTheres no sense in feeling like a failure just because you think you should have a better job, a bigger house, or a nicer car. Real success comes from the inside, and its completely independent of circumstance.Travis Bradberry is the co-author ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0and the co-founder ofTalentSmart.Thiscolumnfi rst appeared onLinkedIn.